Health and fitness coach
Hi, I'm Tabitha! I was born September 26 of 1971 in Fredericktown Missouri with a congenital birth defect to my right foot, due to my father being sprayed with Agent Orange during the Vietnam war. My mother was only 14 years old when she had me. She always treated me like I was a normal kid and never let me feel sorry for myself. I was a rambunctious spitfire of a kid.
The summer of 1977, at age 5, my brother and I were playing race car driver in my mother's boyfriend's vehicle. My 3 year old brother was "vrooming vrooming" at the wheel of this every so real and huge vehicle, while I was bent over the door jam eating peanuts. All of a sudden the car started to roll. In those days the gear shifter was on the column, so he was able to reach it well. I remember the door swung around and hit me, and spun me around and under the vehicle. I remember the car rolling over me. and I remember a pain in my leg and head. I do not remember much else after that. The only think after that I remember was being in the hospital with this huge traction thing over me and my mother crying. My brother was okay thank goodness. I know what your thinking as well. Why where we unsupervised. I have often wondered that myself. But in 1977, kids just were.
I had to have many surgeries after that. They took my fibula and tibia and fused them together.
The next year I had to start kindergarten,and guess what? I was ready! I was more then ready. I started Rockford Elementary at age 6. It wasn't long until I had to leave my new school. My mother was now going to have a baby and she and her boyfriend parted ways. My mother at some point reunited with my father and we moved to Texas. My maternal grandmother lived there and still lives there as far as I know.
We moved from house to house for 2 years. I went to 3 different schools. My sister was born. So many things happened there It would take a book to tell you everything.
In 1980 my dad had enough of Texas so he moved us all to Clarksville TN where he is from. I was happy to see my Granny, but again that was short lived. I do not know why my mother brought us three kids back to Maryville without my dad., but there we were.
It was a scary time for my mother being alone. She was unable to keep my brother and I the summer of 1981 and we were surrendered into state custody from June of 1981 to September of 1981 when she was able to bring us back home to her. However, she was not the same mother we knew. She spoke to people that were not there. She would tell us that ghosts were going to come and kill us. She also told me she was going to kill us all and herself.
My world was shattered on November 19 1981 when my mother got up and made us breakfast and sent us off to school. That morning around 10AM my mother committed suicide. I was 10 years old. My siblings and I were forced into state custody, where they separated us almost immediately. While I had a nice foster home, it wasn't always pleasant. I was abused there, but I am still unable to talk about that. Perhaps someday I will be able to.
At age 17 I ran away from my foster home and in 1989, I married a man I thought would keep me safe and love me forever. I was wrong. I had 2 children with him and stayed in another abusive situation for 20 years. In 2008 at age 37 I made a life-changing decision. It was like a light had gone off in my brain. After a long weekend of being beaten up, almost drowned in the toilet, and mentally attacked in front of my then 15-year-old son, I left! I left my LIFE, my newly bought home, my dog I loved, but most importantly I left my abusive ex-husband. I packed all I could pack into my small Scion XB and grabbed my son when it was safe to leave, and I left. I knew the road would be long and hard and it was! I jumped in headfirst and blind to whatever this new life held for me, and never looked back. I leaned on the Lord and my own understanding and let God guide me where I needed to go.
During the time I left my ex-husband, I was overweight, unsure of myself, mentally programmed to think I was unworthy of love and happiness. Sinking into depression and uncertainty, I wasn't really trying in those days. I was losing weight, but I wasn't losing it correctly. I was not eating, and drinking too much alcohol to help me numb my feelings and to just keep me from thinking so much.
Then I met my Knight in shining armor. He needed me as much as I needed him. We were friends at first and then fell in love. We married in 2013, and it felt like all the things in my life were aligned now. I had also been promoted to manager at my job, and everything felt like it was falling into place, except for one thing, ME, and my mindset.
I was still lost and not treating my body the way I needed too. Three months after we married my adult daughter and my then two-year-old grandson moved into our home. She was also pregnant with our granddaughter. I was now taking care of my new husband, my daughter, my grandson and soon to be a new baby, and all the people I was now responsible for at my job and ignoring my own health and needs. My job is at present and was extremely stressful and I did not handle it well. My body was suffering from it. What was I to do? I ignored it. For many years into my new marriage, I ignored how I was eating and not only me but my husband. I was not taking very good care of him, or anyone else after all.
No one can care for another human being without taking care of YOU first. That is a basic life rule most of us forget.
In 2018 I was climbing my steps and tore my meniscus in my good knee. I was not given any therapy, surgery or anything to help me. I am an amputee that relies on my good leg for support. I wasn't getting support from my doctors. I fell even more into depression and a slump. I wasn't able to walk like before. I couldn't jump, ride a bike, bend for yoga, or anything I was doing before. It was even too hard to stand to make dinner. I was miserable.
Since I was married in 2013 and had my injury in 2018, I have gained 70lbs. YES!! 70lbs! This is unacceptable.
I’m not telling my story to receive pity or have people feel sorry for me. I tell it so that others will know that YOU are what YOU make this life to be. You are not a victim of all your circumstances. Do I still have bad days thinking back, sure I do. My circumstances are not what defines me. I will not let it. I only tell my story for others that have had hard things in your life, to know you do not have to let it in. Get up and do the work, do not feel sorry for yourself, and be that winner. No one is going to do it for you. Love yourself!
I'm now 48 years old and I have been going through a spiritual journey for the last two years and learning to know me and love myself. I am 253lbs at the moment (4/25/2020). I have joined the Beachbody community and I am going to coach because I feel I can learn as well as a mentor. I have been through many fires and it really hurt my soul, but I also came through it with my soul intact as well, and NOW it's time to HEAL ME!
As I am healing me, I want to offer any help and encouragement to anyone that is hurting, lost, feeling undeserving, or just needs a boost of confidence. Because what I have learned is this. No matter what we go through in life, if you do not let it defeat you then you are the biggest winner of all.
Let me help you, and you can help me in the process. One of our greatest gifts to each other and the universe is to BE OF SERVICE to others.
If I could ever write a book……….it would be a doozy!
Love who you are, but love the BEST version of yourself as well!